Changes I made to my article

To get the final draft of my article I changed many things. Firstly, I split it up into paragraphs, as it made the article more clear and easy to read, and was also grammatically correct. I also changed minor things, like the punctuation, or changed words for stronger words. I also decided to take out a lot of the information about her fashion, as it doesn't appeal to the target audience, who are adult males. Also, I decided to say a bit more about her musical influences as the article needed to have more information about her music rather than her fashion choices! This would appeal to the audience of the magazine a lot more. I also changed "she has only just started" to only just emerging on the music scene". I changed some of the word choices, as I felt I was saying "this girl" far too much. I also decided to take out the word "cool" as I felt that this made the article seem childish, and it is mainly aimed at teenagers and young men. I changed the phrase "newest indie-diva on the block" to "big talent for 2010", as I felt that this sounded a lot more professional, as the term talent is used a lot in the music industry. I also changed one of the quotes, and this was to enhance the idea that she was a confident and arrogant person. Finally, I separated the last sentence "...and I can tell that this girl is a diva in the making, and you boys had better watch out", into two separate sentences, as I felt that this had more impact. Overall, I think that my overall article is effective, and appeals to my target audience with a direct address to them at the end of the article.

2nd draft for my article

As Jodie Flair sweeps into the room nonchalantly, I can’t help but stare. She is wearing very little, and looks like every boys dream rolled into one. As she sits down, she says to me “Well let’s stop staring and get on with this interview then”. Even from the moment she walked into the room she had established herself as a diva-type, from her confident strut to her hair toss, but this confirms it. This is the amazing thing about her. She is acting like a diva who has been in the business for years, when she is only just emerging on the music scene.

We start talking about her outfit, and when asked who she gets her fashion inspiration from she replies “I don’t need inspiration. I’ve always been fashionable”. She certainly has proved herself to very high in the fashion stakes, flaunting all kinds of outfits in public like some toned down version of Lady Gaga. I ask her about the idea behind her debut single, “Peas”, and she starts telling me about previous boyfriends, chance and unrequited love. However, I kind of get the feeling there is something more. “Let’s face it” I say, “You just love peas don’t you?”. At this, she laughs right on cue, for which I am highly grateful. “I do actually” she replies. “When I was little I used to build pea towers and stuff like that. And I never used to be told to eat my peas, I always ate them anyway. I was a really cool kid”. I have to laugh at this. Jodie even makes a childhood habit of building towers out of peas sound like some unique hobby.

Jodie has no fears about being individual and pushing the boat out in the music industry: the video for the single features Jodie wearing a pea green lycra catsuit, with pea dancers all around her. She has taken many of her influences from artists like "Goldfrapp" and "Florence and the machine", but says she does not want to become like another artist; "I want to be totally unique. I think I will be. But fucking hell, even unique isn't unique nowadays." We then talk about when the forthcoming album, “Never say never” will be released. “April 4th hopefully” she says “But we’re hoping that the single will be so popular that we can get it released a lot earlier! I’ve got a lot of confidence that it will”. I can tell that this girl has no doubts about her own ability: she has a good voice and she knows it. Jodie then goes on to tell me about how her interest in music developed from when she was a child, when she used to perform singing concerts to her whole family. “If they didn’t applaud enough, I would go in a sulk for the rest of the day!” she laughs. In fact, Jodie’s mother knew she had an amazing ability from a young age. She sent her to the prestigious drama and music school “stage coach” in the hopes that it would help to get her into the music business. And it has obviously worked for 18 year old Jodie, who is set to become big talent for 2010. “I could totally beat Beyonce in a fight. She would get totally thrashed”, are the final words from Jodie about ultimate diva Beyonce as she saunters out of the interview room, hands on her hips, and I can tell that this girl is a diva in the making. You boys had better watch out.

1st draft for my article

As Jodie Flair sweeps into the room nonchalantly, I can’t help but stare. She is wearing very little: a massive fur coat, mini-dress and spiked heels at most. She looks like every boys dream rolled into one. As she sits down, she says to me “Well let’s stop staring and get on with this interview then”. Even from the moment she walked into the room she had established herself as a diva-type, but this confirmed it. This is the amazing thing about this woman…or girl. She certainly looks like a woman. She is acting like a diva who has been in the business for years, when she has only just started. We start talking about her outfit, and when asked who she gets her fashion inspiration from she replies “I don’t need inspiration. I’ve always been fashionable”. She certainly has proved herself to very high in the fashion stakes, flaunting all kinds of outfits in public, and appearing in the fashion magazines daily. I ask her about the idea behind her debut single, “Peas”, and she starts telling me about previous boyfriends, chance and unrequited love. However, I kind of get the feeling there is something more. “Let's face it” I say, “You just love peas don’t you?”. At this, she laughs right on cue, for which I am highly grateful. “I do actually” she replies. “When I was little I used to build pea towers and stuff like that. And I never used to be told to eat my peas, I always ate them anyway. I was a really cool kid”. I have to laugh at this. This woman even makes a childhood habit of building towers out of peas sound like some cool, unique hobby. I can tell that this girl has no fears about being individual and pushing the boat out in the music industry: the video for the single features Jodie wearing a pea green lycra catsuit, with pea dancers all around her. We then talk about when the forthcoming album, “Never say never” will be released. “April 4th hopefully” she says “But we’re hoping that the single will be so popular that we can get it released a lot earlier!”. I can tell that this girl has no doubts about her own ability: she has a good voice and she knows it. Jodie then goes on to tell me about how her interest in music developed from when she was a child, where she used to perform singing concerts to her whole family. “If they didn’t applaud enough, I would go in a sulk for the rest of the day!” she laughs. Jodie’s mother knew she had an amazing ability from a young age. She sent her to the prestigious drama and music school “stage coach” in the hopes that it would help get her into the business. And it has obviously worked for 18 year old Jodie, who is set to become the newest indie-diva on the block. “I could totally beat Beyonce in a fight. She would get totally thrashed” are the final words of Jodie, as she saunters out of the interview room, hands on her hips, and I can tell that this girl is a diva in the making, and you boys had better watch out.

Planning and evaluation of an article

The first article I have chosen to look at is an article from NME on "East Coast Avengers". Here are some examples of the type of language that is used. Slang and informal language is used for a large part of the article. An example of this is: "Nasty, old, piss-reeking, racist bigots". This language also seems very confrontational, which shows that the article is trying to prove a point. Humorous similes have also been used in the article: "Bloggers fell on the track like sharks attacking a sack of bleeding puppies". The article also uses strong adjectives, as the article has a strong content, and it really wants to emphasise its points: "Lying, scheming, embezzled". The article also uses pull quotes, and the language in these seems a lot more serious than some of the language in the article, and maybe this would encourage people to read the article more: "This was sickening, hilarious, dangerous, pathetic. Hell, wondered some, was this even legal?". Although the content of this is serious it actually has quite a light hearted tone. This is true of the whole article, as although it has serious content about a rap band who write offensive lyrics about politicians, the tone of the article is fairly light hearted and jokey. Maybe this is to make a joke of the whole situation, and make it seem like a farce. The article is an interview, but the way it is set out is to have the questions being incorporated into the actual writing, rather than having a question-answer interview. However, the article is mainly based around writing about the controversy and incidents of the band, rather than incorporating questions into it.

The second article is from Q magazine and is on "Razorlight". The article uses language in different ways. The article includes quotes from other people that relate to the article, but that are not used as pull quotes. E.g. "Jesus, do you think Churchill stopped the war because it was his wife's birthday?". This uses quite jokey and light hearted language, which is helping to show that some members of the band have a sense of humour and can have fun. Casual, swearing language is also used in the article, and this helps to show the audience of the magazine. Short hand versions of words are also used e.g. "cos". This is used to make the band seem a lot younger and more stylish, by using text language. The tone of the article is mainly light hearted, informal (with lots of swear words) and humorous. It is designed to "take the mickey" out of the lead singer of Razorlight. This tone makes the band seem more light hearted and approachable. It is largely based on an interview with razorlight, but it does not just split it into individual questions, it splits the article by different events for the band and talks and interviews them about these events.

Overall, both the NME and Q articles have helped in giving me ideas about how to structure and write the article for my music magazine.